Mar 122014


Tomorrow on Funny People I’ll be giving away 2 tickets to see Jojo Sutherland, who will be a guest on the show, and others live at Edinburgh’s premier comedy club

To be in with a chance of winning just tune in from 1-3 and guess the theme tune

You will win tickets for The Stand, Edinburgh on Thursday the 10th of April to see Dan Petheridge, Wendy Wason and the multi award winning John Moloney. Jojo will be your host for the night


Mar 092014


On this week’s Funny People I’ll be joined in the studio by comedian Jojo Sutherland. Craig Gordon from the Sunday Free For All will probably be hanging about as well (he’s got a mattress in the studio)

I’ll be chatting to Jojo about her stand up career, writing and starring in Radio Scotland sitcom The Gates, comedy in the dark, the worlds first comedy gig on a train, Wife Swap and a lot more. Jojo will be sticking around to help me and the lodger out with the regular features like Ask Susan Boyle and Rab C Whosebit?

There’s also another 2 copies of Russell Kane’s Smokescreens & Castles DVDs to be won when we play Guess The Theme Tune

Tune in this Thursday 1-3

Mar 032014

A rubber dinghy carrying one man and three mackerel has sunk after crashing into an Iceland carrier bag off the shore at Musselburgh. Already being dubbed Titanic the second the disaster was witnessed by one dog walker who is still too traumatised to speak about it. The man aboard the dinghy was fished out but sadly the three mackerel didn’t make it. Thoughts are with their families.

The majority of tourists in Britain come from other countries confirms Boris Johnson.

All eyes were on Prestonpans this week as the new square roundabouts were officially opened. Unfortunately traffic has been at a standstill all morning as drivers are peeking round the corner to see if its safe to go.

Rumours that rapper 2pac is still alive have been confirmed. In an exclusive interview with Radio Saltire Bob Marley talks about the studio flat he shares with 2pac in Musselburgh.

and finally

Football fans have blasted Real Tranent striker Grain Broony after he signed a new contract for £25 a week. One fan wrote on Twitter “I am disgusted, there’s too much money in football these days.”
Tune into Funny People on Thursday 1-3 for the weeks biggest headlines

Mar 022014






34127_article6TH MARCH – ROB KANE

Tune into Funny People on the 6th of March to hear me chatting to Rob. We’ll be talking about how he became a comedian, his upcoming Glasgow Comedy Festival show, Scottish Comedy FC and much more. Rob will be in the studio for the whole show so he’ll be joining in with the regular features including Ask Susan Boyle and One Foot In The Debate

oyDFAcPF13th March – Jojo Sutherland

Tune into Funny People on the 13th of March to hear the brilliant Jojo Sutherland. I’ll be talking to Jojo about her upcoming Glasgow Festival show, the worlds first comedy gig on a train, Universal comedy workshops, the comedy booking company she runs with her husband, comedy in the dark, how she helps many new comedians and much much more. I’m really excited about this one, Jojo is one of the funniest comedians in the country and I’m honoured to have her on the show

Britains-Got-Talent20th March – Anna Devitt

Tune into Funny People on the 20th of March to hear me chatting to Anna about how she became a comedian, her many TV appearances including Britain’s Got Talent, Rab C Nesbitt and Lee Mack’s All Star Cast, Truffle the belly on the telly, her upcoming Glasgow Comedy Festival shows, her own entertainment company and much more. 


Feb 282014

This weeks biggest headlines:

A Haddington woman won the first series of Dancing on Head Lice last night

Kellogs owner Tony Tiger was arrested this morning after a woman called Kay was found in a box of his companies cereal. Police Scotland refused to comment but said this was a special case.

Tablet computers are under too much pressure to be thin, says plus sized laptop

Rumours that snow is Gods dandruff have been rubbished by STV weatherman Sean Batty. “God uses head and shoulders” confirmed Batty

First Minister Alex Salmond held a press conference at Holyrood this morning to announce his new incentive. Every person that votes yes in September will be treated to a free sausage roll from Greggs. Only an hour later Prime Minister David Cameron announced that he will buy all no voters a sausage roll AND a yum yum

Midgies Leaf, the East Lothian version of Dragons Den got off to a great start last night. The highlight of the show was Elphingstone man Simon Kyle who secured an investment of thirty two pound for his human litter tray

Pope Franics has been named Pope of the month by Pope Mania magazine

and finally

Tranent zoo was officially opened today by the lassie from the bakers. There was over 8 people waiting for the ribbon to be cut. The zoo has a wide range of animals including a cocker spaniel and a semi skimmed cow


Tune into Funny People every Thursday 1-3 to hear the weeks biggest headlines

Feb 272014

If you missed this weeks Funny People with Mark Ure then you missed some new stories. This one’s about Trevor.


Trevor opened his eyes and looked around the room. He didn’t know where he was. The small room had Milky Way wrappers for wallpaper and the carpet was made of Tic-Tac tiles. Trevor tried to get up off the floor but he couldn’t, he was chained to the Hobknob radiator.

“Just stay where you are.”

The voice startled Trevor, he hadn’t noticed anyone in the room with him but when he looked around, he saw that sitting on the small Mint Aero couch was a Toffee Crisp with a face.
“Where am I? What are you?”
The Toffee Crisp with a face sat forward on the couch, his little toffee toes sliding across the floor, and spoke in a Scottish accent.
“Toffee Crisp mate, you?”
“Trevor, a man.”
Trevor didn’t know what was going on, did he really just talk to a Toffee Crisp?
“So have you got a name?”
“Aye, Toffee.”
“Toffee the Toffee Crisp? That’s your name?”
“Aye, got a problem with that?”
“Good, is Trevor your real name?”
“Weird name.”

Toffee stood up and walked to the chocolate finger door.
“C’mon, follow me.”
Trevor followed Toffee down a long corridor for what felt like hours. Trevor guessed they had travelled at least 10 miles. The corridor was decorated like the room, Bounty wrappers for wallpaper and a rolling floor made fromMaltesers. They finally stopped at a space where a door should have been, instead of a door there was hanging beads made from Minstrels. Toffee stood to one side and told Trevor to enter.
There was sweets with faces everywhere. The room was massive, it didn’t seem to end. Over in one corner Trevor spotted a Kit-Kat chatting up a Walnut Whip, they looked like they were having a good time. Toffee poked him in the back with his wrapper hand and told him to keep moving.
Trevor felt like he was in Willy Wonka’s factory. He seen everyone as he walked through the room, the only one to speak to him was Freddy the Freddo who complained that nobody wanted him now he cost 20p.
Toffee led Trevor to the back of the room and through a small arch made of Terry’s Chocolate Orange. On the other side was a dressing room.
The room was empty apart from a packet of Hubba Babba who was putting some make up on. Toffee chucked a set of clothes at Trevor.
“Put that on and come join me in the Kinder hot tub.”
Trevor looked at what he had been handed: a green and silver tracksuit and a green foil hat.
“I don’t understand Toffee Crisp face thing, what’s going on, where am I?”
“You’re one of us now, get your gear on.”
“One of you? What does that mean?”
Toffee looked Trevor in the eye.
“You’re the replacement, Trebor got sacked, you’re Trevor Softmints now.”